decrease.

Streessssssssssssssssssss.

Prayers for summer job finding in my college town to be fast and efficient requested.
Thanks <3 

Streeeeeeeeessssssssssss :[

What the crap am I doing this summer?

? ? ?

Someone please just ship me off to Japan.  And we can call it good.

Or let me meet a great guy.  Great guys make life prettier.

Or, you know, both.  I’m cool with that.

I want to play guitar on a pier over the Atlantic ocean as I sing songs in Japanese to my fiance.  And the water is pretty and there’s a sunset and our child is a dog.  And he likes to sing so we harmonize and the fish jump out of the water with joy.  And they look like glistening colorful drops of crystal. And they can sing.  Or, at least hum along.  And we have a cute little cabin that we’re decorating with handmade furniture and paintings on wood.  And our dog sleeps in the corner with my pet squirrel that is intelligent like a pokemon.  and we live by an orchard that doesn’t have creepy bugs and we can spend the day pcking oranges and planting flowers and there’s an old piano that plays beautifully and i’m taking harp lessons from the clouds.  i’m a songwriter/painter and he is an entrepreneurial carpenter who also does glass blowing.  and we own horses.  mine is all white and all black at the same time depending on what angle you see him from.  and he walks dressage-ly to the beat of my guitar song while the birds sing on my shoulders.  and everything’s just like a disney movie’s child with an anime.  and for some reason we’re never bored.  and we swim in the lakeocean thing a lot and feed deer. one i named penelope, or penny for short.  and then we meet fairies who make us fairies too.  they travel with us and do the chores with magic and bring in fresh flowers and stuff.

So, I can type with my eyes shut.  I kind of want to see what comes out when I actually drift off…

I am stressed.

Boy and I are now “just friends.”
Summer job fell through- need to find out if the alternative will give me the needed 40 hours/week.
5-page paper needs to be written by tomorrow.
I have done nothing today but go to class and snack.
Should I hope for a future with Boy?  Is it worth it?  Would it be forced?
Should I have sent that text?
What on earth and I doing tonight?
Summeerrrr.
My room is messy.
My desk is worse.
I have too much time to think.

God, into Your hands I commend my body and soul and all things. 

Oh gosh.  I just love having vague conversations filled with meaning over facebook statuses.  I will say, though, I love when you think of one that’s perfectly vague so that only that one person will get it and everyone else will take it as a normal post.  Brilliant.

And even better?  Vague blog posts that he won’t ever read. <3